I've perhaps finally acknowledged that I might not catch up from Aug. on the blog and that this should not prevent me from beginning to write regularly again. I miss writing here, but somehow have felt that I shouldn't until caught up....

NEWS FLASH! Photos are up. Check 'em out!

Today is our first snow and it's so beautiful. Big, dry flakes that are actually starting to stick. Today I ran before it began to snow. I've begun to run in a lovely, nearby park and am so grateful that there are still leaves on the trees. It's been a sort of gradual process to fall, though the temperatures have been getting low - near freezing - and today, the white stuff!

I'm feeling a little melancholy today and hope that this won't be a refrain this winter. I'm a little scared of winter, the unrelenting gray, the frozen tundra, the frozen toes, the wind, the paucity of fresh foods. But, the snow is beautiful, there are banyas (steambaths) to visit, I can run the stairs in my building... It will be fine, but right now the thought of the unknown is a bit scary.

Work is going well. I'm trying to model some time management behavior - it drives me crazy how so many projects that I work on or see are driven by panic management. Planning is sparse and the other PCV's and I are working on infrastructure.

So much is topsy turvy, through the looking glass in the development world as I see it. As always, I will speak in generalizations to avoid trouble. There's a decent amount of money being given out by the US (via USAID and the State Dept. on a gov't level and by private foundations like the Soros Found.), by the EU and then by various European Governments, among other sources. Some organizations get large grants to run specific projects, to run their operations or to divvy up to other, smaller orgs.

Sometimes the following occurs: misappropriation of funds, outright stealing, creation of power bases and fiefdoms, autocratic rulers, etc. I don't think any of this is going on at my org, but sometimes I am surprised at the lack of infrastructure in the org, considering our level of funding.

I am trying to observe, but I am probably judging. I wonder often about how money is being spent, how programs are implemented.

Anyway, as I was running today and thinking about how happy I am that my skin is really clear now, it struck me: am I just here to enjoy a nice apt., dinner parties w/ expat, PCV friends? Isn't it time to get my hands dirty, so to speak? My org allows me the sometimes stifling luxury to operate in pretty comfortable circumstances, but really, I'm here to work and sometimes be uncomfortable. Not the old, tired, "I'm not suffering" line, but just that I would like to find some work in another org that is a little more grassroots and tied to something I feel strongly about.

I am so boring today - I'll write back when I have something to describe again.